Saturday, July 09, 2005

i somehow feel like i've withdrawn into my shell. i feel like i don't have the right, or lack the confidence rather, to be the person i love to be. but i refuse to come out... because i know deep down that the consequences would be so painful. so unbearable. i know it would sting more than ever...
and i can't let that happen. never. i would never forgive myself. i wish i could go back in time to change things, to make amendments, and not have to sacrifice my personality. but the trouble is, no one can predict the future. if i had predicted the future then, well, life wouldn't be a problem now.
i am acting this way because im learning from my past mistakes. sometimes, in order to achieve your ultimate goals, your hopes and dreams, and all you've ever lived for, you have to make sacrifices. maybe there's a way in which i don't have to make this sacrifice. but hey, maybe im just too stupid to know what it is. and i don't want to know. because it seems like dang hard work, and that ain't my style. i shall do things my way and be however i want to be to achieve my goal, to wash away my fucking*** sins.
and if you think you can change me, go ahead and try. go ahead, insult me. hurt me. bruise me with your bullshit***.
but bullshit is bullshit, and all it does is stink. it won't change what i think.. i could just take a bath. so if you've got some bullshit up your sleeve and you're thinking of throwing it at me, then eat it and piss off.
i've got a life to mend, and i don't need fucking bullshit as an obstacle.
-whitewave~
***no offence, guys, it's just for the effect=)

GV whitewave~
ex-tns, rgs
270891
VIRGO
goat
1c 2c 3c 4c 5g 6h 106 206 304




credits: I, II


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